Going out on a date, especially for the first time, is hard enough for the most confident person, but a real challenge for those who are’ socially anxious’.
There is hope for those of us who are shy and introverted but we do want to get out and date. Being shy is not an undesirable quality. In fact, it might be more appealing to the one dating you than someone who is not shy.
Being shy can definitely make dating very difficult, though. Actually, it becomes a vicious cycle. The stress from the date causes great anxiety and then the thought of being ‘rejected’ makes your confidence fade and next time, you will be even more nervous and anxious. Most of us want to just give up and hide in a corner.
But, as stated earlier, there is hope. Since a large percentage of us are shy and anxious, there is much advice from others who have successfully overcome the dating challenge. Read on to learn their tips and advice.
Most important point to realize is not to take dating too seriously. Remember, dating is a meet and greet and maybe reject process. There will be more fish in the sea. Consider this date to be a training practice. It’s not the end of the world.
Boost your confidence
Your appearance will help give you the needed confidence. Dress well and feel good about yourself and this will help boost your confidence. Dress in something that flatters you and you feel comfortable in.
Wear something that will help take the conversation away from you. For example, a unique shirt, hat, watch or purse, will help you relax as you both look at and discuss your unique conversation piece. It will distract the focus from you.
Stop comparing your dates to your favourite chick flick
The best advice is to realize that dating is not a Hollywood movie. It is real life and realizing this, will help with any feelings of disappointment.
Remember you have two ears and one mouth, listen double than you speak
The next step is to focus conversations on what you like and steer them away from yourself and this will help you relax. Discuss vacation spots, TV shows, books that you enjoy or hobbies. It’s your first date; they don’t need to know everything about you.
A good idea is to have conversation ideas ready and have questions to fall back on.
Try a unique fun, dating setting
You want to feel confident, relaxed and comfortable. So, an excellent suggestion is to have your date be a fun experience. You could agree on, for example, bowling, a basketball game, museum, local festival or a walk in the park, coffee or dinner or a movie. Other ideas are walking the dog, going to a car show or art show.
Some extra advice
Most important to remember is to try hard to focus on your date, not yourself.
Another point to remember is to just RELAX! Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay- it’s just a date.
An interesting suggestion is to be honest and tell your date that you are very shy and have been for years. It might help them relax too.
We hope these tips will help you enjoy your first, and many more, dates.